Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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