I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
