Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I will pee on everything he values.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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