I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
