Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize