I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
