i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
