guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
