good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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