i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
There r osticjed everywhere
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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