So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
