and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
