oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
