Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
