My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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