can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
