I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
