KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
