He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
