I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
