you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize