Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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