Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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