i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
