my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
