I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
