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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
