I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Houston, we have a blender
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
