she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
