i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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