there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
