plz talk dirty to me
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize