Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
