what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
