THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
