Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize