Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize