I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
