margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
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