I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
