will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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