it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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