Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
