I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize