He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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