Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We have started to decorate penises.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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