How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
