garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
