My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
