I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
if only i could text you this smell
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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