hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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