she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Dick very happy bro
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
