Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
