Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Randomize
