told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
