He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
