it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize