Is it normal to miss your booty call?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Randomize
