just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
