duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
