She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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