At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
