I think my vagina is haunted
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
